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We might do well to contain our elation at seeing the light at the end of the tunnel until we are certain it is not some guy on a motorcycle coming straight at us.
~ Tom Fitzgerald You know something that would really make me applaud A guy gets stuck in quicksand, then sinks, then suddenly comes shooting out, riding on water skis How do they do that
~ Jack Handey Deep Thoughts A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out of a divorce.
~ Don Quinn One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider.
~ Damon Runyon I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I was at his house and that tied-up man with the gag in his mouth came hopping out of the closet and started yelling that HE was really my grandfather and the other guy was an imposter and to run for help. Who was that guy Oh, well, never saw HIM again.
~ Jack Handey Deep Thoughts Lloyd What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together
~ Dumb & Dumber Lefty Wise guy dont carry wallets, they carry their money in a roll....beaner on the outs
~ Donnie Brasco You know...that a blank wall is an apalling thing to look at. The wall of a museum -- a canvas -- a piece of film -- or a guy sitting in front of a typewriter. Then, you start out to do something -- that vague thing called creation. The beginning strikes awe within you.
~ Edward Steichen Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
~ Joe Theismann Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.
~ Jack Handey Deep Thoughts To err is human, to blame the next guy even more so.
~ Unknown Tommy Fat guy in a little coat.
~ Tommy Boy
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